I was continuing with my studies and I was a
bit of a recluse at the time. I really enjoyed
going to the library and studying hard.
So I went off to RMC and started my officer
career there. Again, RMC at that time had
some challenges so I did experience some
more military sexual assault while I was at
college which again every time something
like that happens to you there’s
a little bit more of our motivation and
your ability to serve is diminished.
But I kept going and I did end up in
Gagetown for my artillery phase training
which was interesting because when
I showed up in my sundress that
I drove there in with all my gear
I remember pulling up and
pulling all my gear up the stairs to the
barracks and I don’t know if he
was a sergeant or warrant.
He’s like, “Oh it’s so nice of you to bring
your boyfriend’s gear to course.
And I’m like, “No that’s me!” And just the
look on his face I will never forget it.
I used to have hair down to my waist and
the first thing he said was,
“Well I don’t think the hair is going to
last very long!” And I replied,
“Well I am pretty sure I can put it in a bun
faster than you can shave your face.”
And so anyway we made a little bit of a
bet on that one which I did win in the end.
They used to call it the strawberry danish
because it was a giant bun on the back.
So artillery phase started off really well
because I was a really good runner and
I had a larger frame so I could carry a
rucksack without any issue.
So I thought I was going to do really well
in this course and then unfortunately we
were doing a night mat march and we
had a couple of; we were led by a very
enthusiastic cadet who kind of got us
lost and it was abot probably two
o’clock in the morning and we’re all
tired and we just got red light,
can’t really see anything.
A couple of people have already gone
down so we distribute a kit amongst
everybody so we were carrying way
more weight than we should have
been and Gagetown is an
interesting terrain to say the least.
So just walking along, marching along and
it turned into muskeg but we didn’t see it
and my right leg went right down to my hip
in the mud and this side stayed over and
then the rucksack, the weight of the
rucksack just pulled me over and
just tore everything.
I don’t really remember much after that but
I do know that my screams were so loud they
found us. We were actually considered lost.
They had to come and find our platoon.
So that was pretty much a
career ending injury.
Unfortunately it was very difficult to accept
that it wasn’t going to heal or be able to be
repaired and being the, I believe, third artillery
female artillery officer the expectation to do
really well was there and I felt like I had
failed by being injured this way.
Going back to RMC I did have some
surgery and whatnot. I did manage to finish
my degree but I was unfortunately sort of
given the choice to well you need to either
stay in the artillery or we are going to
medical release you. I found myself going
from a military career at a very young age
to all of a sudden being on civvy street and
very quickly with like pretty much no
transition to be honest. Then I had to figure
out what to do with the rest of my life.
And with an injury that hurt every day and
t was hard because it’s no treally an
injury that you can see. I do have a limp
and what not and it has over the past
twenty years of course affected so many
other parts of my body. I do tend to fall
quite a bit. My knee gives out and I fall so
I have injured this hip and this shoulder
and lots of consequential injuries but
it’s hard for people to see that.
And then just over the years just
realizing that there wasn’t quite
something right with your mental health.