We get overseas. Finally it all happens.
Six months of work up training,
going to Arizona. We get overseas and
it is exactly as awesome as
I thought it would be. Our very first mission,
day, like day two, week one,
we had to insert and drop 300 American
soldiers into Zangabad and they
pushed from Zangabad all the way
through to the Taleqan, Tip of the Horn.
And we had all the Chinooks and all of
the Griffins ready and the padres were
blessing the aircrafts and this was our
first legitimate mission after the turnover.
I’ve gone on the flights but as a
secondary role looking at the AO and
learning the AO. And then we go off
and it’s just this incredible symphony
of Chinooks landing, American troops
coming out of Canadian Chinooks all
around the fence, entire platoons.
It was six hours, three hundred troops
took over the whole Tip of the Horn.
It was a beautiful operation and then for
the next two weeks continuous overwatch,
eight hour patterns with Chinook escorts
and troops in contact.
It then grew to frustration because every
time the Taliban would engage the
troops on the ground in Taleqan, Spuringhar,
Masinghar (sp), we would get called and
we would leave our escort of a Chinook and
come ripping to that area to assist the
troops but because of the sound Taliban
would shoot and scoot and run away so
that build up for me was immense and
that caused, started to cause me badness
because I was getting the adrenalin and
getting very excited to protect the troops
on the ground but then I felt I let them
down every time they heard us because
we would contour flight too.
We would try our best to pop up on
the enemy with surprise and aggression
but as soon as they heard they
would be gone. The troops would not
be in contact, as soon as you
lose PID (Positive Identification),
law of armed conflict, Geneva Convention,
which is all good protects us but the
frustration for me grew on that and
that was maddening.
And then I did have the opportunity
to complete my job for real.
It was team effort. We had predators
asking permission for us to shake
down 2-3, to prosecute a target.
We asked permission from Zero,
Zero gave us the go ahead.
We were very excited.
We had the MX-15 on the side.
We zoomed in eight kilometres out,
had PID on the individual and then
performed our mission.
It was a great success.
And then that was really intense because
we were the first shakedown crew to
engage that tour with arms.
Everybody else was tech support and
been there to actively help but we were
the first to like now put rounds down range.
And when we came back it was hard
because everybody just, it was another
day at work but I didn’t quite
know how to process it.
So I immediately felt like I got to be
hard and keep it in but then I went
that evening and ran on the treadmill for
an hour and then I felt guilt because
I had now, I felt sadness and confusion
and then because I felt sadness and
confusion I felt like I was letting my
mentors down because they were there
during Medusa and different tours and
deployments which Medusa went down in
heat stroke, they fought for sixteen
hours straight, patrols for sixteen
kilometres intense and then here’s me.
I am a door gunner so it’s cushie,
I know it’s Gucci but I feel bad.
And that weighed on me so then
I made myself harder and then I think
that’s where the poison set in for
myself and my moral PTSD
to be honest with you.