It’s Hard to Come Back Home

When I came back I said I wasn’t in very good shape, mind wise, you know, my body was okay but I did a lot of drinking. I couldn’t relax, you know, I couldn’t sit down and relax. The only thing I knew was drinking, pass out and that was my relaxation I suppose but I didn’t do any drugs. Then I met my wife about a year after I came back and she tried to control me, she looked after me anyway because I must have had about twenty jobs, job from job, I couldn’t for some reason, I couldn’t control a job, I suppose I don’t know what it was. When I was in the army you were told what to do and you do it, you know, and I didn’t have to do it with too much thinking of course I never had too much education anyway. So I was going from job to job and that and she stuck by me all the time, you know. That’s what I feel now. I can’t sit back and relax and close my eyes and relax. I get this feeling like something is going to happen. Something is going to blow, you know, and I’m going to have it or something, that’s the feeling. When I go home now and in the night time I have got a television in my bedroom and I set it on a timer and I set that off until I goes to sleep. I can’t just sit back and relax. I get too, I don’t know what the feeling is, and it’s an awful feeling.