Little Steps in Life

I was diagnosed with depression in 2005 and then with PTSD in 2008 which it was all under the same umbrella. It’s terrible. You don’t want to go outside. You lose your life completely. I would come home from work and I would go to sleep. And then I would get up got to work, I’d come home and go to sleep. I would be working and then all of a sudden I would put something down and I can’t find it. And then you get frustrated and everything blows out of proportion. It’s terrible and, you know, like crowds you lose a lot of trust in people. You lose a lot of trust in yourself. And the military, you’re always go, go, go, go, go and then when you start feeling this it’s oh my God I got a sense of feeling useless. And then when you get released or you’re off work because of stress that even builds up more the feelings. And I have been going to my doctor since 2008 and still battling it and it will go a long time, a long time It’s all little steps. It robs your life and then once you actually realize your problem and you start fixing it, then you start enjoying more things that you used to enjoy. Like I used to enjoy fishing, the outdoors, everything and after a while there was no fun in it anymore. I lost everything and then slowly it’s coming back. It’s a long road. People that don’t have it, I’m a big advocate for PTSD now because it’s got to get out there. And you know, it’s not just military, first responders, everything. There’s a lot of people out there that still fall under the stigma and I would have guys before I stopped working that would, “Oh here, come here, let’s talk,” and they‘d whisper and I was like, “What are you whispering for? If anybody has got a problem with it just, you know…” That’s the biggest problem.