Description
Mr. Toney describes the lingering emotional scars left by his military service and a unique way of coping with bad memories when they start to overwhelm him.
John Martin Toney
John Martin Toney was born on September 26, 1923 on the Neskonlith Reserve, British Columbia. The strongest influence in his life was his grandfather, who taught him spirituality, life and survival skills. Mr. Toney feels that at that time he was being groomed to become a Chief. By the age of eight, he was hunting game to help feed his family. He later worked at a ranch and then as a carpenter. Proud to enlist, the army’s restrictive criteria forced Mr. Toney to renounce his Aboriginal heritage and designate himself an Irish Catholic. He was accepted by the Seaforth Highlanders, Engineering Corps, based on his success at demolition. His first action saw him in the second wave at Dieppe where he witnessed much death and suffering. Agile in the field, he hand-picked and led many reconnaissance and demolition patrols against the Germans. Mr. Toney was wounded twice, and after his second recovery, finished the war as motorcycle dispatch rider. He then signed up for Pacific duty, returning home early
Transcript
Well I was all for it, like, but if I’d actually known what I was getting into. I thought just wearing a uniform, that was something big. I didn’t know they shot at you for keeps until later on. But I, I wouldn’t, I’d go back again if I had to do it again, but you see some awful things. Something that I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. Like things that went on. Like it’s with me now for the rest of time as far as I can see. It’s something that I don’t think any person should have to see.Because it does damage to you. Like nightmares. It took me ten years before I settled down enough so I wouldn’t have a nightmare. Like when I first come back I, like, I never, just said goodbye, that’s it. They never done no counselling with me or nothing. They turned me loose. And I went out there and I would just wake up in my bed all tangled in the bed sheets fighting. But I don’t think a person ever gets over it, no matter what. It’s with you. Shows up every so often and it’s not very nice. When things get really rough I just leave and go up and bounce around the clouds, come back anytime I want. Stuff like that. White people say that’s crazy. You can’t do that, but your mind is a funny thing that you can do anything with. Anything you can imagine, you can make happen.